Sometimes I talk too much about myself, I'm that 'evil' one then. Because I bloody like when it's all the way I want, just so nastily-egocentrically. My space, my world, my engulfing opinion which you seize on as yours. And then I hate this, I hate how people pall on me when they start to take my opinion as their own. Silence, books and tea mugs are definitely less disappointing, they never vex me like that

(pictures taken with Zenit)

I wrote a recap post from the past year, but it's nearly ridiculous how cheesy it turned out. Another ridiculous thing is that in last few months I forgot almost all English vocab and grammar, composing these sentences is a massive torture as I'm trying to stay correct and also to not make them sound as if they were written by a complete and utter ignorant. Probably they do anyway!
There are not many things in which I feel reasonably good, but one of them is making plans. I'm fucking planning-things virtuoso ha! The trouble is I'm very often too lazy/impatient/cowardish to bring my little mischevious ideas to reality. But here we have another New Year, another new start, another chance to promise that yes, I will find courage or stop procrastinating (or both).
And that's what I do.

I feel both extremely close and extremely far from being where I want to be

*first picture taken by a beloved friend

These little moments of anxious wondering about what will you get are definetely the best part of taking analogue pictures and having them developed. I kind of ruined this film by accidental opening the camera while it was still inside, but on the other hand it made pictures look more unique then ever, ha. okay enough of this cliché, I feel too exhausted to compose full sentences now.

I feel very unlucky to live in these times.

Why do I  always keep aloof? Some people can simply be themselves, it's nearly ridiculous how even stupidity and backwardness is for them so natural and easy to show. Just like breathing or blinking - they can act without any reflection or alteration. Even if I really don't take a fancy to them at all, I still envy not being discouraged and insecure. If only I could express myself so, without any shame...

So I had to rummage my archives again, oh well

(I'm this little, pink and navy whale on the right)

This water was making perfect noise, and I was creating perfect scenarios in my head.

None of them came true yet.

/in Union Pier, MI with Smena 8/